It’s been six weeks since my last chemo treatment. I’ve attempted to have my final treatment for the past three weeks. Each week I’ve gone in, only to find that my immune numbers are far to low. Today, I received GREAT news from my doctor. It is her recommendation that I skip that last chemo and move on confident of a cure. I’ll have a CT Scan next week with a follow up appointment with her on Monday, April 20. The HIPEC Treament has been especially hard on my body, hence the low numbers. My response to treatment has been excellent however and exceeded her initial prognosis. I AM DONE WITH MY CANCER TREATMENTS!
Throughout my cancer journey I have spent a lot of time in a reflective posture...walking outside, sitting on my garden swing ( yes, even in the winter if the sun was shining) reading spirit filled books...and binge watching Amazon or Netflix. I have spent seven months trying desperately to hold onto a positive mindset. My teacher friends know all too well how much time and effort we give to children helping them to elicit their own. I’ve made daily, even hourly, choices to focus on the good, the true and the beautiful. Keeping my mantra close ( Outrageous Courage, Determined Joy) has really helped. Each one of you on this blog site has helped me proceed with generosity and hope. I have lived within your collective safety and assured support. I have found myself simultaneously losing control and finding it. Life- I have discovered is an eternal discovery and filled with constant growth. The more we think we understand the more we find out otherwise.
Right now I’m quietly noticing all the beauty of spring and the awakening of nature. Creation exists first of all: for its own goodness and glory. Secondly, it exists to show us God’s goodness, diversity and creativity. When we look at a person, tulip, a butterfly or a mountain- everything is part of God’s love for us and the universe we call home. I believe that Jesus is the gift that honored this gift- all of creation. During this Holy Week, I plan to focus my gratitude on all of creation.
Many of you planted tulip bulbs this fall whilst praying for me. Thank you. Please send me pictures as yours bloom. I plan to make a collage with all the photos and perhaps a poem too, if creativity finds me.
Now, we find ourselves, our nation and our planet in distress. I rest assured that goodness will outweigh anxiety and that our faith will get us there. Hopefully, all of us can find moments, maybe even just minutes, when we are in a reflective posture. I want you know that I have lived on the others side of a great nightmare and it wasn’t a nightmare at all. I have been afraid and anxious for sure. As a now Cancer Survior, I know that anxiety and at times, fear, will follow me. But I know something far more valuable...the love and support of a community and a gracious Lord. God bless us all...everyone.
Let the Futre BEGIN!
